とある物語３

Imagine you are going to conduct a full day technical training to government officers. Imagine you have suited up with your best professional appearance.

Imagine you arrived on site on time. You took out a large box containing 21 pieces of equipment from your boot, your 5 kilo working backpack, your water bottle from the car.

Locked the car and proceed walking towards the traffic light junction between the car park and the government building.

Everything is cool and smooth. You felt your pants pockets and…

Shit happened - your car ignition key is missing (imagine the key is not kept together with the remote for security reasons).

You looked frantically around you and the key is no where in sight. You have to deliver the equipment on-time, there are issues requiring your on-time support, and top it all off it is your turn to present soon. You are afraid if the key is picked up by someone else. You are afraid you will not able to go home today.

You’re sweating profusely, your shirt is all wet, after all that trouble you took to look good. Time is ticking, make your choice.

This is not fiction.

I chose to deliver the equipment to my colleague (the current presenter) and fulfill my commitment to support the technician in the Personalization Centre. Apparently there was some unknown (to the technician, at least) error during personalization of test cards, and the issue was very urgent.

I requested the technician to open up the PIN file, but watching the clueless technician staring blankly at the monitor is excruciatingly difficult. Clock is ticking. Calm down, don’t let the personal stuff affect work.

After a good 5 minutes or so he gave up and asked if I could locate it. He should have done so in the first place. I made an educated guess and found the file I’m looking for. Looks like someone was lying, the machine is clearly not pre-configured for test card personalization.

After a few trips back-and-forth the meeting room (where my notebook was) and Personalization Centre, I found out the culprit was just a mistyped SAM PIN. Awesome.

Went back to the meeting room (where the training session was held) and troubleshooted a few participants’ code.

Finally got the chance to continue the search for the key after things have pretty much calmed down.

After searching the grasses, the pavement, the tar roads, under cars, in the boot, on the seat constantly rewinding my memory trying to recall the most possible place the key could have misplaced or dropped, hope was gradually lost. I was going to give up, the search area big and full of obstacles for such a small key.

I texted my family members saying I have lost my keys and might need to tow my car later.

“The Law of Attraction”, I recalled the words someone told me. It’s too early to give up. Kept my cool and restarted the search from my car, searching beneath nearby cars, under the scorching sun.

Underneath one black car a few lots away from my car, there was my key. And then I was like “ZOMG IT’S A MIRACLE I’M SAVEDZZZZ”

Started my car with that key just to double confirm.

End of story.

正義・無力

The feeling of helplessness sucks. The feeling of regret, that you could save somebody’s life, only if you’ve chosen another path. If only you knew a simple action would have changed someone’s fate.

A simple action would have brought light to her. A simple action would have protected her from the darkness, the bastards. A simple action would have swayed a fine young girl from her death.

I’m sorry, I should have chosen to know you better. I would have pulled you out of the circle.

Rest in peace, Elli.

Abyssus Abyssum Invocat

Est quod res preoccupo vos semper tamen perverse. Admonet quodammodo essem nisl.

Qui nimium probat, nihil probat. Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.

Si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes

じごく

I overestimated my capabilities – finishing 3 tasks in 2 weeks is complete bullshit with my current abilities. In 2 days, the 2 week mark arrives, and I barely finished 2 tasks.

During the past 5 days I’ve been working and working on it full-time, yet for each time I try to implement new features, old problems resurface and I had to start from scratch – this is very frustrating.

The project is taking too much of my time – I’ve neglected sleep, studies, exercise, social activities, yet it bears no fruit.

Support questions emails keep coming in, complaint emails keep coming in, customization request emails keep coming in.

I can’t cope, I seriously can’t.

And I accidentally fell asleep yesterday and woke up in the morning, while thinking of a proper diagnostic test setup.

 

Pathetic.

(and the only thing that probably cheer me up – my new EOS 60D, doesn’t cheer me up anymore)

限界状況

Sometimes when you want things to go (as planned) as simple as:

A => B => C

Where C is a much better situation resulting from the transition of A to B.

But in the end, the situation goes like this:

A => B => D => E => F

It complicated for unknown reasons, deviated from the original course, caused a mass snowball effect and went for the absolute worse-case scenario – situation F.

Worst of all, there’s no procedure for:

F => A

or:

F => … => A

Great, just great.

お前の挑戦を受け入れる

Looks like You purposely don’t leave me a choice, cutting all of my lifelines short and leaving me no time to decide. Very well.

Listen up, the Dude up there:

“I gladly accept your challenge, shoumen style. Come, bring it on.”

苦しい

Joint pain, back pain, pounding headache, coldness. This is gonna be a hell of a night.

ここまで...か

Since late morning, he sensed something was wrong today. Something was definitely wrong, the patterns are wrong.

Feels as if the balance he painstakingly kept, that should be perceived as neutral, got tipped over. His brain backtracked, checking and rechecking all of the decisions he had made, all of the possible outcomes if the decisions are different.

Perhaps it’s his past decisions came haunting him. Perhaps it’s because of his disclosure of the neutrality of the balance to someone has been wrongly perceived.

“18/9/2010  10:16:25 DN  Pe Sem ;U: i pefa ny heh ob?
18/9/2010  10:17:30 DN  Pomxa:  E femco hol jboj xunemw. Zij muj jboj hjroewbj-ju-jba-duemj.
18/9/2010  10:18:12 DN  Pomxa:  Yui'ra avdaxjemw o hburj ur pumw omhlar?
18/9/2010  10:18:23 DN  Pe Sem ;U:  zujb uhu xom
18/9/2010  10:21:45 DN  Pomxa: Jba jarn 'pefa' eh kary kowia. Eq yui dij ej em o kary hendpa, dira, pefa - jba omhlar eh yah. Zij E zapeaka, jba 'pefa' yui namjeumac eh nixb caadar. Jba fay xumhecarojeumh - E tihj naj yuir heh pahh jbom o numjb. E drajjy nixb cum'j fmul omyjbemw ozuij yuir heh. Yuir heh eh paokemw ju jba IF. Hu ju wu omyjbemw caadar, E cum'j jbemf ej'h duhhezpa.
18/9/2010  10:22:54 DN  Pomxa:  Lboj E fmul eh: - Hba'h qreamcpy, kary qreamcpy. - Hba'h xija (yah, E cum'j camy)
18/9/2010  10:23:11 DN  Pomxa:  Hu, cu yui waj lboj yui'ra ohfemw?
18/9/2010  10:23:19 DN  Pe Sem ;U:  yaod
18/9/2010  10:23:31 DN  Pe Sem ;U:  rananzar eh o haxraj zajlaam yui omc na”

Perhaps the balance shouldn’t be set to slant that much. Perhaps it’s because of all the factors above which contributed to the 3 possible external events that finally tipped over the balance.

His brain keeps coming up with hypothesis, possible branches outcomes – it was too much to be handled, but attempts to shut his brain has failed.

At the end of the day, yes, something indeed was wrong, the delicate balance has indeed failed catastrophically, and it is probably unrecoverable.

What actually happened? He doesn’t know. The riddles he can’t solve. What is left was regret – the setting of the balance was wrong, the past actions were wrong.

What now? Wear a masque, hold back the burn.

Yeah, the other side broke today, and I repaired it – almost cutting my finger in the process, though, I did inflicted a small cut on my thigh.

Yah. Cec boka jbeh conm ucc qaapemw, ej'h jba avoxjpy jba hona oh lboj yui qaap jba nunamj zaqura yuir ayah waj laj.

Ej lamj juu qor, urewemoppy ej hbuipc za o wuuc nanury zaqura hba paokah omc amc ej jbara - jirmac uij ju wu qirjbar jbom E jbuiwbj, zoxfqerac omc xraojac o kary olflorc hejiojeum.

E'n kary hurry ej jirmac uij jbeh loy.

遅い！

Order Number: 8917
Date Ordered: Tuesday 31 August, 2010

Received: by 10.229.182.85 with HTTP; Wed, 1 Sep 2010 19:56:57 -0700 (PDT)
Date: Thu, 2 Sep 2010 10:56:57 +0800
Message-ID: <AANLkTin1+LgE+cHtMuvPxaQtkYesP0-srNz-6f_cEB5q@mail.gmail.com>
Subject: About your cosplay
From: Order Inquire <emily@hellocosplay.com>
To: Lance

Dear customer,

Thanks for your order.But I am afraid it will not arrive on time because September 5th is weekend. Hope you understand.

Any question,please feel free to contact us.

Kindest regards!

Hellocosplay

---

From: Lance
To: "Order Inquire" <emily@hellocosplay.com>
References: <AANLkTin1+LgE+cHtMuvPxaQtkYesP0-srNz-6f_cEB5q@mail.gmail.com>
In-Reply-To: <AANLkTin1+LgE+cHtMuvPxaQtkYesP0-srNz-6f_cEB5q@mail.gmail.com>
Subject: Re: About your cosplay
Date: Tue, 7 Sep 2010 22:31:23 +0800

Hello,

May I know what are the tracking numbers for both of my orders (8917 and 8893)?

Thank you.

-

Lance

--

Date: Wed, 8 Sep 2010 10:31:10 +0800
Message-ID: <AANLkTi=39P0dRRy8f7OAECoX8_nn3UvN_iL1nwgc3kBL@mail.gmail.com>
Subject: Re: About your cosplay
From: Order Inquire <emily@hellocosplay.com>
To: Lance
Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary=00c09f93de657f3554048fb64e2f
Return-Path: emily@hellocosplay.com

Dear customer,

Thanks for your order .You orders have not been shipped out,.Once it is shipped out, you will get a mail in your mail box which will show you the tracking number.

Any question,please feel free to contact us.

Kindest regards!

Hellocosplay

---

From: Lance
To: "Order Inquire" <emily@hellocosplay.com>
References: <AANLkTin1+LgE+cHtMuvPxaQtkYesP0-srNz-6f_cEB5q@mail.gmail.com><BAY110-DS75E034EFCC25525E00D90E7710@phx.gbl> <AANLkTi=39P0dRRy8f7OAECoX8_nn3UvN_iL1nwgc3kBL@mail.gmail.com>
In-Reply-To: <AANLkTi=39P0dRRy8f7OAECoX8_nn3UvN_iL1nwgc3kBL@mail.gmail.com>
Subject: Re: About your cosplay
Date: Wed, 8 Sep 2010 11:19:49 +0800

Hello,

Order 8917 (wig) is extremely urgent. I hope you can rush it somehow.

Thank you.

-

Lance

---

Date: Wed, 8 Sep 2010 12:36:57 +0800
Message-ID: <AANLkTim=YYM5rtpF5SdwORgWsHHw7LSyaYhhHQGgX6xG@mail.gmail.com>
Subject: Re: About your cosplay
From: Order Inquire <emily@hellocosplay.com>
To: Lance
Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary=00c09f93d62054c29f048fb810c7
Return-Path: emily@hellocosplay.com

Dear customer,

Since there are three products included, would you please tell me a exactly date you need it ?

Look forward to hearing from you.

Kindest regards!'

Hellocosplay

---

From: Lance
To: "Order Inquire" <emily@hellocosplay.com>
References: <AANLkTin1+LgE+cHtMuvPxaQtkYesP0-srNz-6f_cEB5q@mail.gmail.com><BAY110-DS75E034EFCC25525E00D90E7710@phx.gbl><AANLkTi=39P0dRRy8f7OAECoX8_nn3UvN_iL1nwgc3kBL@mail.gmail.com><BAY110-DS480710B5E33929A9C02F3E7720@phx.gbl> <AANLkTim=YYM5rtpF5SdwORgWsHHw7LSyaYhhHQGgX6xG@mail.gmail.com>
In-Reply-To: <AANLkTim=YYM5rtpF5SdwORgWsHHw7LSyaYhhHQGgX6xG@mail.gmail.com>
Subject: Re: About your cosplay
Date: Wed, 8 Sep 2010 12:56:13 +0800

Hello,

8917 (Cosplay Black Long Wig) is needed before next Friday.

8893 (Bleach Ichigo Kurosaki Bankai Tensa Zangetsu Zanpakuto Sword) is less time-sensitive. As long as it's within this month, it's okay.

Thank you.

--

Lance

---

Date: Wed, 8 Sep 2010 12:58:54 +0800
Message-ID: <AANLkTikZ44QRdJs9+1QR5bd5veRCYyj7LgMWA-f85+QX@mail.gmail.com>
Subject: Re: About your cosplay
From: Order Inquire <emily@hellocosplay.com>
To: Lance
Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary=0015175cb2e6da703e048fb85e74
Return-Path: emily@hellocosplay.com

OK,no problem!

Hellocosplay

--

From: Lance
To: "Order Inquire" <emily@hellocosplay.com>
References: <AANLkTin1+LgE+cHtMuvPxaQtkYesP0-srNz-6f_cEB5q@mail.gmail.com><BAY110-DS75E034EFCC25525E00D90E7710@phx.gbl><AANLkTi=39P0dRRy8f7OAECoX8_nn3UvN_iL1nwgc3kBL@mail.gmail.com><BAY110-DS480710B5E33929A9C02F3E7720@phx.gbl><AANLkTim=YYM5rtpF5SdwORgWsHHw7LSyaYhhHQGgX6xG@mail.gmail.com><BAY110-DS342D4D6EDE65FBB04EDBDE7720@phx.gbl> <AANLkTikZ44QRdJs9+1QR5bd5veRCYyj7LgMWA-f85+QX@mail.gmail.com>
In-Reply-To: <AANLkTikZ44QRdJs9+1QR5bd5veRCYyj7LgMWA-f85+QX@mail.gmail.com>
Subject: Re: About your cosplay
Date: Wed, 8 Sep 2010 13:36:40 +0800

Hello,

Sorry, I got informed that the wig is needed by THIS Friday, my mistake.

Is there anyhow you can meet the deadline?

-

Lance

--

Date: Thu, 9 Sep 2010 10:13:56 +0800
Message-ID: <AANLkTind3v9_W20iE4v5z5V2Mv=M8X0Oi0E7BYRceKv-@mail.gmail.com>
Subject: Re: About your cosplay
From: Order Inquire <emily@hellocosplay.com>
To: Lance
Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary=00c09f93d65db4d52d048fca2e5e
Return-Path: emily@hellocosplay.com

Dear customer,

I have check it for you. But I am very sorry that it can not receive you this Friday. Because except the wig ,there are other things which are still not finished.

Would you please give us more time ?

Look f forward to hearing form you.

Kindest regards!

Hellocosplay

--

From: Lance
To: "Order Inquire" <emily@hellocosplay.com>
References: <AANLkTin1+LgE+cHtMuvPxaQtkYesP0-srNz-6f_cEB5q@mail.gmail.com><BAY110-DS75E034EFCC25525E00D90E7710@phx.gbl><AANLkTi=39P0dRRy8f7OAECoX8_nn3UvN_iL1nwgc3kBL@mail.gmail.com><BAY110-DS480710B5E33929A9C02F3E7720@phx.gbl><AANLkTim=YYM5rtpF5SdwORgWsHHw7LSyaYhhHQGgX6xG@mail.gmail.com><BAY110-DS342D4D6EDE65FBB04EDBDE7720@phx.gbl><AANLkTikZ44QRdJs9+1QR5bd5veRCYyj7LgMWA-f85+QX@mail.gmail.com><BAY110-DS65A920E523FA076C0F459E7720@phx.gbl> <AANLkTind3v9_W20iE4v5z5V2Mv=M8X0Oi0E7BYRceKv-@mail.gmail.com>
In-Reply-To: <AANLkTind3v9_W20iE4v5z5V2Mv=M8X0Oi0E7BYRceKv-@mail.gmail.com>
Subject: Re: About your cosplay
Date: Thu, 9 Sep 2010 12:13:17 +0800

Hello,

I see. Anyway, please rush it as soon as possible, the wig is very urgent. (Other items are not time sensitive)

Thank you.

-

Lance

--

Date: Thu, 9 Sep 2010 12:17:40 +0800
Message-ID: <AANLkTimZ58ruHrkqDYbh+2+B1Omd1paRV3cqArosvgef@mail.gmail.com>
Subject: Re: About your cosplay
From: Order Inquire <emily@hellocosplay.com>
To: Lance
Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary=00163630f739381b1d048fcbe97e
Return-Path: emily@hellocosplay.com

Dear customer,

Thanks for you understanding. We will try our best to do.

Any question,please feel free to contact us.

Kindest regards!

Hellocosplay

--

From: Lance
To: "Order Inquire" <emily@hellocosplay.com>
References: <AANLkTin1+LgE+cHtMuvPxaQtkYesP0-srNz-6f_cEB5q@mail.gmail.com><BAY110-DS75E034EFCC25525E00D90E7710@phx.gbl><AANLkTi=39P0dRRy8f7OAECoX8_nn3UvN_iL1nwgc3kBL@mail.gmail.com><BAY110-DS480710B5E33929A9C02F3E7720@phx.gbl><AANLkTim=YYM5rtpF5SdwORgWsHHw7LSyaYhhHQGgX6xG@mail.gmail.com><BAY110-DS342D4D6EDE65FBB04EDBDE7720@phx.gbl><AANLkTikZ44QRdJs9+1QR5bd5veRCYyj7LgMWA-f85+QX@mail.gmail.com><BAY110-DS65A920E523FA076C0F459E7720@phx.gbl><AANLkTind3v9_W20iE4v5z5V2Mv=M8X0Oi0E7BYRceKv-@mail.gmail.com><BAY110-DS6CF25B4504E87DA271F1AE7730@phx.gbl> <AANLkTimZ58ruHrkqDYbh+2+B1Omd1paRV3cqArosvgef@mail.gmail.com>
In-Reply-To: <AANLkTimZ58ruHrkqDYbh+2+B1Omd1paRV3cqArosvgef@mail.gmail.com>
Subject: Re: About your cosplay
Date: Tue, 14 Sep 2010 21:50:23 +0800

Hello Emily,

Please at least give me a time frame of the date you start shipping the goods I've ordered.

It has been long since the promised 48 hours processing-time for the wig, and the promised delivery on this Friday seems impossible if you haven't even start shipping yet.

I would be my last email to you, and I sincerely hope you can deliver the goods on time.

-

Lance

--

Blacklist hellocosplay.com. Suspect fraud. If I don’t receive any emails from them within this week, I’ll file a buyer dispute.