It only has been half of 2011 and already feels like a year had passed by. The past 6 months had been full of events and experiences. Though I’m worn out a bit, recalling back all the information that had gone through my 5 senses – the amount more than what I’ve experienced in the past 3 years altogether – I somehow feel satisfied.
I started off my year with my life shifted 180 degrees. It was the time when I experience, for the first time, an emotional attachment to something. It’s something like the feeling of euphoria drugs give you, and they leave you craving for more – you basically get addicted to it. It’s the first thing you think of in the morning, and the last thing you think of before you go to bed.
Throughout the days I learnt a lot of new things, things I wouldn’t learn if I was still single, experience I wouldn’t go through if there wasn’t a 180 degree shift in my life, dreams I wouldn’t dream of if I was still the old me.
They say good times won’t last forever – and they were right.
Things were heating up pretty fast during the 2nd quarter of 2011. Project management challenges, technical difficulties, college stress caused a snowball effect. Things seriously went downhill when the emotional attachment I was clinging on to, suddenly got detached.
My life took another turn of 180 degrees.
Yes, I didn’t see that coming. It hit me like a brick right in the face and left me sulking for days. Analogous to the withdrawal symptoms you get in drugs, I couldn’t get used to the big hole it left in me, totally lost my mind.
That’s when I finally realized how vulnerable I could be – and I don’t want this to end this way.
Faced with finals around the corner, I had to bite the bullet. There’s no choice left for me but to gaze to the front and run like hell. I’ve seen how my condition can do shit to people if they don’t move on, I’m definitely not willing to share the same fate.
After sleepless nights, lots of hard work, lots of Redbull/Livita and a bit of ass-covering, somehow I managed to run past everything relatively unscathed. Boy, I didn’t think I am a mean bad ass, but I guess I am :D
I managed to get rid of my addiction (thankfully) and learn to cherish things I would normally take for granted – my brothers-in-arm, they’re probably the only ones that will watch your back when shit happens; and family, they’re the only ones that will shower you with unconditional love. Like air, these are the important people that are there all along, but always get swept aside.
And now I stopped and think – hey, things weren’t so bad after all, I’m glad everything turned out this way, except the part he, who went through similar fate as mine, is still stuck in the endless limbo. Hope he pull himself back up soon.
Now, I’m proud to say – I can build robots from scratch. ;)
